The relational petal of Functional Aromatherapy is when we take a deep look at what our relationships are with ourselves and other people, and how they work for or against our health.
The dictionary defines relational as concerning the way in which two or more people or things are connected.
In the US research shows:
- 2.3 million couples wed every year in the US
- ⅓ or approximately 750,000 have been married before
- 40-50 percent of marriages end in divorce. This number hasn’t changed over the years and pretty much has fluctuated between the 40-50% for the last 20 or so years.
According the Pew Research Center, 88% of people get married for love, with another study showing 81% stating they were looking for lifelong commitment.
What makes a happy marriage? Some 64% say shared interests and 56% say household chores.
You know how this can be read? Communication and respect. We are lacking fundamental communication and respect for others in our relationships. Perhaps, this comes from lack of self-respect.
Matthew Schimkowity from Hopes and Fears magazine put out an article stating different cities around the word and the average years a couple is married before they get divorced, and what percentage of that city of divorced in 2019.
- Rome, Italy 18 years, 30.7%
- Ottawa, Canada 13.8 years, 48%
- Paris, France 13 years, 55%
- New York City, USA 12 years, 41%
- Sydney, Australia 12 years, 43%
- Mexico City, Mexico 12 years, 15%
- Tokyo, Japan 11 years 36%
- London, England 11 years , 42%
- Cape Town, South Africa, 31.2%
As these numbers illustrate, we aren’t having “relationship” problems just here in the US. It is a worldwide issue.
So if we use the average of 38% percent divorce rate for the world, we are looking at a lot of people.
Divorce causes sickness.
We can take this further and state that lack of communication and respect ladig to divorce makes you sick.
Susan Pease Gadoua, Licensed Social Worker came up with a Divorce Scale that shows how likely you are to fall into illness with divorce.
Relational health is not its own island.
The Relational Petal in the Functional Aromatherapy Matrix has a direct effect on the mental, physical and energetic petal and possibly on the nutritional and immunological as well.
Relationships are that important.
None of us are perfect. Everyone is just a work in progress that puts their pants on one leg at a time.
We all want to be heard, to be loved, to be cared for. We all want to look in the mirror and like what we see. We all want to live our life in some sort of satisfaction to yourselves and those we love.
Yet, we have toxic relationships with our family, our friends, our spouses. We have memes saying how much we all dislike each other.
This is not why we are here. Why I can't say exactly WHY we are here, I can be pretty sure all of us hating each other and living in misery is not it.
So how do we fix it? How do we take our relational petal and get it to mix with the others?
We first have to realize that we have one relationship goal.
That is to be kind and loving and caring to one person first, ourselves.
That is number one.
There are many ways that we can attain this. We can start at the spirituality petal with gratitude. Take those small areas of gratitude and do one line of gratitude and one positive thing about yourself that morning.
Perhaps your hair looks good, or you slept well. Maybe it's you made a kick butt smoothie. Maybe you had more patience with your children, or you filled in your gratitude journey for 66 days straight - you will see a difference!
This is where Functional Aromatherapy® comes in. Let’s look at how you can use oils to make yourself feel better about yourself.
- Hard salve
Remember there are professionals out there that can help you as well.
Studies have shown that just talking about your problem diffuses ½ the feeling behind it.
There are reasons the US and Europe license mental health counselors and schools teach the medicine, it’s because it is needed.
Technology has changed our relationships tremendously.
Think about 100 years ago, no cell phones, you lived with your family or across the world from your family. Your friends became whoever lived in walking distance from you. You didn’t know what was going on 20 minutes away from you much less across the world.
Now we can have 20 friends text message us in 10 minutes, have 100 Facebook notifications in an hour, 300 emails in a day.
We all want a piece of each other while at the same time, using technology to avoid ourselves. This is such an important part of plant medicine and Functional Aromatherapy® .
The old adage “stop to smell the roses” wasn’t just some cute thing to slow people down.
In the Journal of Personality and Individual Differences, researchers found that people who did slow down, and appreciated the meaningful things like smelling roses, were more satisfied in their life.
So in what ways do you "stop and smell the roses" and improve the health of your relationship with yourself and others? Do you meditate, pray, or do group therapy? Do you make self-care a small or big part of each day? Or are you struggling to find what works for you?