#11 Recipe and Ramblings: Perfect Couple Spray
“A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.” ~Dave Meurer
This is a very difficult and personal recipe and rambling for me today. If you have been following the series, you may have seen that I am divorced after 14 years of marriage. When I found this quote, though I love it, it made me wonder if I had a right to use it, given the state of my dissolved marriage.
However, I am adding it to the series because over these adversaries {link previous blog}, I have learned a lot of great things. Now that I am dating someone new, I am consciously unmaking previous mistakes in this new relationship.
There is no couple that is perfect. My ex-husband and I were far from it. We never understood, tried to understand, or perhaps even care enough to understand each other's differences. Which, honestly? Was probably a large part of our marriage’s demise.
In my current relationship, this is not the case. I have known the man I am dating almost all my life. we were friends for many many years, even before I met my ex-husband. As children, we might have had a lot of similarities, the 20 years apart we had become different people, and the misunderstandings of my previous marriage have made me very conscious of the differences in this new relationship.
Sometimes, my new relationship needs to have a sit-down. We need to talk out our differences and seek common grounds. Perhaps it was the years of our previous friendship, or just differences in personality, but it is amazingly easy to cross talk to each other and find that common ground. Let me tell you. It’s a breath of fresh air.
When we have those serious conversations, he doesn't know that I spray what I call the “Perfect Couple” spray. (Though, if he’s reading this, now he does. Ha!) Whether it’s a conversation for the phone or in person, I spritz this on myself and nearby to help me concentrate and focus on what I want for myself and for him. It helps to ground me and help me get me straight to the point so we can move on.
Maybe if I would have done this in my previous marriage, things could have been different. I blame myself for that, but I’m in a new space in my timeline, now. In a relationship that I both appreciate and adore.
When we make sprays during the series, is important to realize that I am not adding any preservatives to this. There are some schools of thought that say every product you make has to have a preservative in it. and I agree to a point. If you are using this spray for yourself, you can keep it in the refrigerator for a few weeks. After that it needs to be thrown out, or at the very least not put on your skin.
If you would like some references regarding preservatives, please feel free to email me and I'll be more than happy to help you. But for the sake of the series, we will not be using preservatives in any of the sprays.
When I make a spray, I really enjoy using hydrosols. A hydrosol is the floral/herbal water that comes out of the distillation of essential oil. It gives you a stronger scent than water, but much milder than the oil and has some therapeutic benefits for your skin.
The essential oils in the spray rose, rosewood, sandalwood and lavender are all deep oils. Sandalwood and rosewood are extremely grounding, Rose we all know symbolizes love and lavender gives a sense of peace and calm. These are all qualities and support systems you need when having these big conversations with someone you care about.
On a side note, I've also recently used the spray when I had to have a deep conversation with my son about some issues going on. I believe the scent truly lends itself to providing an open table of communication and understanding.
From a therapeutic standpoint, this blend is also great to spray on your pillow before you go to bed if you're having problems sleeping or that mind chatter won’t quite down. I sometimes even use it as an after-shower spray because of its slightly feminine and lovely spring. It really has so many great uses to put you in a better headspace!
Perfect Couple Spray
2 oz Rose hydrosol
10 drops Rose Oil, Rosa damascena
5 drops Rosewood Oil, Aniba rosaeodora
5 drops Sandalwood Oil, Santalum album
4 drops Lavender oil, Lavandula Augustfolia
I usually refrigerate my hydrosols. Some hydrosols come with a preservative in them already. If you are purchasing your hydrosol, it should list if they contain preservatives or not, but it’s always to keep it in the refrigerator if you’re not using it all of the time. I would also buy hydrosols in smaller quantities, as they do not have the shelf life of essential oils.
Before spraying, it is always a good idea to shake the bottle because there are no preservatives or emulsifiers in there.
If you are looking for a few great spots to get your own supplies to make this blend, you can purchase a variety of hydrosols here. Rocky Mountain Oils has a great Rosewood oil, but you can find the others there, too, and if you just need some good spray bottles, check out Got Oil Supply right here.
As always, if you are looking for this blend already made and ready to use, you can purchase the Perfect Couple spray from my shop here!
We only have one life - we don't get do-overs. I am finding if you are going to go through life with someone, it is extremely important that communication is key. It doesn't matter how many differences you have; it matters if you can communicate about them. Been there, done it without it, and wouldn’t wish that pain on any marriage.
Much love to you.
